I’m so excited to be sharing this girly’s natural hair journey with you on the blog today. For those of you who aren’t familiar with Mallory (aka MJ), she is an amazing lifestyle blogger based in Las Vegas. Her blog, Life By MJ, shares her journey of being a millennial mother, a curly-haired fashionista, a food enthusiast, and everything in between.
In her Curl File interview, MJ shares her natural hair journey of how she learned to love her curls, even though they weren’t the “bouncy, large, flowy” curls she envisioned. Let’s dive into this hair journey!
Please introduce yourself
Hey everyone! My name is Mallory Hank-Johnson but around the internet I’m known as @LifeByMJ. I’m a millennial wife and mother trying to live my life as real, authentic and peaceful as possible by honoring the highs and lows of my journey. You can follow my life on my blog, LifeByMJ.com and on Instagram, Youtube, Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest under @LifeByMJ.
1) How long have you been wearing your natural hair?
I have been relaxer-free since 2003 and I stopped exclusively straightening my hair in 2010.
2) What made you decide to go on a natural hair journey?
I wish I could say I had a revelation of wanting to be more natural but that is far from the truth. Honestly, I just got tired of going to the salon and having to get a relaxer. I was always one of those girls who would go a few weeks to months without a touch up so eventually one day I told my stylist I’d rather get my hair straightened via the hot comb and flat iron.
Now the latter wasn’t a great idea for my hair at all. To maintain my hair I felt I had to hit it with a flat iron almost daily and get it professionally straightened at least every 2-3 weeks. Washing it myself never really happened as straightening it myself was never as good as the salon. Basically, I traded chemicals for heat and my hair suffered, especially when I attempted to go blonde. Thankfully short hair was the look around this time (a la Victoria Beckham and Rihanna).
I started noticing a curl pattern around 2007-2008ish but my curls were completely heat damaged plus the mass array of products available now didn’t exist. Still, I played around with my damaged curls, sporting a fro hawk for the better part of 2009 but still straightening my hair often.
Finally, in 2010, I started wearing what resembled an afro, although my hair was cut for a straight haircut. It was uneven and the shape was terrible but by this time I really wanted to “go natural” as it was building momentum with products like Miss Jessie’s, Carol’s Daughter and DevaCurl hitting the marketing.
On April 2010, I stopped exclusively straightening my hair after meeting my future husband and him telling me he preferred my hair curly. He was the first man that said he liked my crazy hair and I haven’t turned back since.
3) Did you do the big chop or did you transition?
My first time around I did not do a big chop but I knew if I wanted a better shape to my hair I would need to get it cut. So I essentially rocked my damaged curls for a bit and then got a shape in 2011. I found a curly hair stylist in town and she cut it WAY short, much shorter than I preferred but it definitely provided me with a great foundation.
4) What was the hardest part of starting your natural hair journey in the beginning?
The hardest thing with going natural in the beginning was my texture and the evolution of it. In the beginning, it was very damaged so it was loose and would barely hold a curl. As it grew out, it was two different curls, from root to end. When I cut off the damaged ends, I really didn’t know how to handle [or how to] style my more kinky texture. It was also not the texture I envisioned. I wanted bouncy, large, flowy curls whereas my hair was strong, dense and stood up. It was hard getting used to it especially after coming from straight “neat” hair.
Recommended: How to Learn to Love Your Natural Hair
5) Did you care what others would think about your hair? Do you still care?
I totally cared what others thought about my hair early on. Hair is such a big part of a human’s identification so drastically changing it, especially texture-wise, is huge especially for those who have known you for a long time.
Now, I really don’t care what people think of my hair. I love my hair for me and no one else because it’s the way God and nature intended it to grow out of my head.
6) How did others react to your hair in the beginning? How do they react now?
I remember early on I had a boss who asked me if I stuck my finger in an electrical socket. I felt so self-conscious already and then for him to say that made me feel worse. Additionally, I had family members suggest that I wear my hair straight so it [would] look “neater”.
Now people love my hair. Most compliment how wild and curly it is and the bigger the better.
7) Have you faced any struggles from being natural in school or in the workplace?
I definitely faced having a rude boss as well as even customers just reaching out and trying to touch my hair without asking. It’s just something you don’t get used to. I’m not a dog so I definitely don’t want to be petted!
8) What is your current hair regimen?
I typically wash my hair in a wash and go. I shampoo it each time I wash it as I use silicones on my hair from a heat protectant as well as purple shampoo to keep my hair an ash color and remove any yellow. I also deep condition my hair at least once a week due to my bleached hair to help increase the integrity of it. Once I’m done, I rinse my hair with cold water to seal the moisture and cuticle of my hair. I then twist the top of my hair and ring out any excess water. I don’t use a towel or t-shirt because I need water to help style my hair. I also don’t detangle my hair in the shower as I prefer to do it while applying my leave-in. My leave-in has awesome slip and helps get the job done with the use of a Tangle Teezer. I shingle my hair for definition which means I section and apply product on my hair.
Once I’m done with all that, depending on my time, I will either air dry or I will sit under my hooded dryer. When my hair is at least 80% dry, I then stretch my curls with my blow dryer using the diffuser or just the nozzle attachment. I make sure to stretch at the root to keep my ends curled. This helps increase my length significantly as I have super curly texture and my shrinkage is incredible. Stretching my hair also allows me to shape my hair.
To maintain my shape I get a cut every 3-4 months. At night I place my hair in a pineapple using a hair band or a satin scrunchie and cover my hair with a satin bonnet. In the mornings I shake out the pineapple and refresh my hair with a mix of water, hair milks, and manipulate the shape with my hands or with a wide tooth comb (like a hair pick). Sometimes I will use oils such as coconut to add more moisture but usually not.
9) What products do you love?
Currently I love:
- Design Essentials Foaming Wrap Lotion: I never thought a foam would be able to hold the curl pattern of my hair but surprisingly it does!
- Shea Moisture’s Jamaican Castor Oil Strengthen and Restore Leave-in Conditioner: It is my go-to under ANY product or style as it adds so much moisture to my hair and makes it easy to work with.
For twist outs I love:
- Revlon Realistic’s Black Seed Oil Strengthening Twisting Pudding
- Camille Rose Almond Jai Twisting Butter: They both provide such great definition.
10) What is your favorite hairstyle?
While my go-to style is a wash and go, I love wearing my hair in space buns. I sometimes feel too old to wear it this way but it’s such a fun and playful look.
11) What is your hair motto?
Treat your hair like silk. I haven’t always listened to myself but curly hair is super fragile and deserves to be treated gently and kindly like your favorite silk piece: low heat, simple cleaning, and it’ll be smooth to the touch.
12) What’s the best part about being natural? What is the hardest part?
The best part of being natural is the ability to do so many styles. You can do anything: curly, straight, wavy, you name it. The hardest part is that it takes SO long for my curls to dry. Seriously if they could dry faster, I think that could make things so much easier.
13) What tips or advice would you give others that are starting their natural hair journey or thinking about starting?
PATIENCE and being open to the fact your curly hair won’t be anything like your straight hair. Know that your curly hair will likely grow out and down, not just down like straight hair. It will feel and seem “messy” and “undone” at first, but the sooner you let go of those ideas of what you think “regular” and “neat” should look like, the sooner you will embrace what nature blessed you with. Lastly, have fun! Curly hair is so unique. Embrace it!
What was your favorite part about MJ’s natural hair journey?
